Today it is Raining

 Like Real People Do - Hozier

Anobrain - The 1975

Spaces - One Direction

I am nearing the end of the fall semester, I am both happy and sad, I think that's how it always is. Some classes I will miss and some I wish I could wipe from my memory and probably I won't remember them anyways because I have blacked out from stress. I am at a low point currently, this semester was a struggle, personally and academically. I will be glad when it's over, but that's also a problem because I have become victim to the mentality of "once X happens, everything will be better." It turns out that is not the case, you can't wait for things to change, because if you have a shitty mentality and/or deeper problems, it won't matter, even if they do. It's just a lazy excuse for being stubborn, and in denial of your situation. Not to say that X thing happening can't make things easier, or help you, but they won't make you better, or save your life. Like, "if I could just hit Zayn's high notes in Steal My Girl I would be cured of depression," it won't do that but I would still like to hit those notes. 

But honestly, I have this idea, that if only I had more time, I would be able to get my life in order, get my room clean, eat better, exercise, blog more, but in reality there are days I can't move off of the couch without it being a great effort because I feel like I am trapped in a block of cement. Time would be great, but that doesn't mean I would use this time, I have bigger issues going on, and sometimes I like to blame outside factors for my inability to accomplish things.

2014 was not the best year for me but at the same time it was a great year, Benedict Cumberbatch teased me, Kevin Bacon made eye contact with me and smiled at me, I have made good steps and progress musically, I went to Coachella and Comicon, I went to the LACMA, I saw Paul McCartney and Katy Perry in concert. I did other stuff, I can't really remember January - March at this moment, it's like a blank spot so that's cool. 

Anyways, I have no point, besides that I have an amazing ability ramble intensely and it's raining and I'm wearing a dress because I am more hard core than anyone.

May

Currently perusing Nars lipstick shades online because i am addicted to reading reviews of products even if I don't listen to them and buy the product regardless, and i plan on rewarding myself with a lipstick. Becaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuse, I am done with my first year of college! Today is officially the first day of my summer! which is great because I've never been on summer vacation on my birthday before (5/21), so i'm pretty excited about that. I'm going to try to make this summer a productive one since it's a bit longer than usual and i'm a bit over sitting around all day summer mentality, so check out my etsy as I will be hopefully working a lot more and there may or may not be some cool sales over the summer.

This year was so cool and went by so quickly so i feel confused and still a little stuck in high school mentally. I think I have made a lot of progress just in myself and figuring out what things i like and what i don't like or need in my life. But before i get too introspective and fill this post with cliches I am going to stop.

This summer I hope to work more on my art, both in continuing the techniques I learned in my drawing classes as well as music wise. And then after that I want to get my etsy functioning and awesome. I hope to get more motivation to do things because I have a really hard time with it. Also I hope to get back into my healthy routines and exercise more and actually follow through with plans. Basically i want to get my life together, easy right?

Just kidding I'll probably wake up at noon everyday and watch netflix in my pajamas.

Overall I'm really excited for my birthday and I feel so happy in the springtime.

Weekend purchases// Ready for Spring

Spring is my favorite season. Main reason is that it's my birthday season. Second reason, "It's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket." I'm going to be on spring break next week and i'm so so ready. After spring break it's going to be smooth sailing, and by that I mean hectic craziness of all of my projects and essays being due on the same day and 2 melt downs an hour. 

Anyways....

Here are my weekend purchases: Gap Jeans (marked down $40), Urban Outfitters fringe purse (marked down $20), Not Your Mother's Long and Strong Conditioner (smells like candy and was only $8 to begin with), and One More Thing by BJ Novak (a collection of short stories that i am in love with and it was 20% off).

I've been searching forever for the perfect boyfriend jeans. and fringe purse. I am so serious. It's fate and they were on sale which only proves the fate of our love even more. I used to have a fringe purse and it was like the first purse i ever really had and used and i used it to shreds and it was just my soulmate purse, so i'm really stoked i found this one it's similar (and maybe even a little cooler) I just loooooooove the fringe ITS SO LONG like i'm a badass lady that you shouldn't mess with. 

I feel like this purse makes me the person i am supposed to be.

Ok I should be writing the outline for my speech for my Comm class but i'm not feeling it. It's only due tomorrow HAHAHAHAHAHAUHHHG. Ugh ok i need to go before i completely lose all interest in speech writing oh wait hahahahahaha. i can't stop.

lil red mermaid hood

|dress - F21|sweater-gap|booties-Steve Madden|hair- Manic Panic/Rock n Roll Red|

I LOVE THAT LAST PICTURE. wOW. I can't stop singing Honeymoon Avenue by Ariana grande but she has a voice like butter with a range that reaches the moon so my neighbors probably think there is a cat in heat nearby. So I dyed my hair red hence the title. Maybe that's why I'm channeling Ariana Grande. 

I love having my hair red, I mean I love pink I think it'll always be my favorite hair but this was a fun change and feels a little bit more wild instead of the usual girliness I embrace. I've lost every single ounce of my summer tan, geez louise i am looking like Snow White. It also doesn't help that I took these photos at noon, with the sun all up in my business, but I still like the way they turned out.

So I've started Spring Semester of my freshman year of college, and I have never been more ready for summer break in my life... What? It's only been two days? Uh oh. But I think my classes will be ok this semester or maybe horrible, it's hard to tell because teachers may be hiding their inner craziness only to pull it out during midterms and fail you.

Anyways I'm digging this hair, I hope I can get back in the groove of school. Wow hello did we just transport to the 70's when I am pretending those words were relevant. Is that Shaggy of Scooby Doo??! Most hippiest hippie i know.

I need to go before this gets any weirder. 

We will find a way through the dark

Today I had my last official class in which I completed my self portrait, as seen above. Tomorrow I have a presentation on women's reproductive rights in Argentina, and on Monday I will present my self portrait. But besides that, I am done. I am done with my first semester of college. I am extremely proud of my self portrait, it really progressed from when I started and it looks far better than anything I thought I could accomplish, at the same time I know its not perfect, but it was also my first attempt.Overall I'm really proud of myself in general. In life. I'm glad to be having a break, because I truly need it, but at the same time I'm bummed to switch classes because I like the ones I have so much. I'm also not interested in taking my general education, which is a problem. But I will do it. Because it's literally forced.

But I finally feel like I can sit down and breathe.

And get excited for Christmas. Finally.

Where's my Christmas tree?

Listening to the Jonas Brothers all day errday

Finished my first week of college!

I am taking 4 classes: Rhetoric writing (mandatory), drawing, psychology and women's studies.

I really like all of my teachers and i'm really excited to learn.

I'm still living at home, and commuting via trolley, so that's a change for me. But it makes me feel independent, I can go wherever I want.... Well, wherever is either by walking, bus or trolley. 

This post makes me so very happy.

---

Although I do hope to become famous for what I do not know, it's still good to be educated

I want to be as much like Emma Watson as I can 

Also made a very important realization this week.

I am cute, pretty, beautiful.

Other girls are as well. Their beauty does not make me any less pretty. Their beauty doesn't affect me. 

Of course I don't look like Cara Delevigne, but why should that mean I'm not pretty?

Nobody else's opinion of me matters as much as my own, and that is in any respect, not just appearance.

Ya gurl is a scholar

Ahh yes, the sweet satisfaction of buying new school supplies. Having clean pages of notebooks, pens with full ink sockets, unscuffed shoes.

School is starting again.

But this year is a bit different for me, I'm transitioning from a child to a slightly less child, perhaps a young adult, one might say. Although I like to disconnect myself from the word adult, the whole young part makes it a little less harsh. 

I'm going to college.

And I'm excited. 

I think this is going to be a really big time for me, although isnt everything a really big time? I like to hope no matter what I am entering the most exciting, best time of my life. 

I hope to put more into my blog, and make it a nice space for myself. A personal space that I can also share with others. 

I've been feeling very fashion-ally inspired, probably based on the ridiculous amount of new clothes I've gathered and the excessive episodes of Pretty Little Liars I've viewed in the past 72 hours. (Netflix instaview will be the death of me, or more so my studying habits and sleeping schedule) 

I hope that I can enjoy this time, and stop being so scared, scared to be alone, and let myself enjoy the times with myself. Scared to speak up, and instead say what I want and when I want it in order to do what's best for me. Scared to fail, instead try and do what I want, and not let my anxieties hinder me.

So occasionally I may or may not post about college and how I feel and such. Hopefully it'll be somewhat interesting and perhaps helpful to fellow students or maybe just a general nice thing for myself.

But, in case this year takes me by storm, as last year did as well. Feel free to follow me on twitter, tumblr and instagram by the username @camxies. I update these a bit more frequently. 

(I now have both a personal and fashion based tumblr, because I totally needed another distraction)